It has become a tradition to write some sort of motivational piece in the month of my birthday, an ode to the wisdom I had acquired up until that point in my life. I felt that this year I wanted to keep with tradition but decided to do things slightly differently, this year I am closing a chapter. I am saying goodbye to both the greatest and worst year of my life so far, my 30th year on earth.
I was recently reminded by a new friend, of an old friend who was the source of many wise words in my life time and I thought I would start by sharing some of these wise words.
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
The last year of my life has been the most tumultuous, heart breaking, gut wrenching, thought provoking, soul testing and judgmental I have ever endured. In 1 year, starting in October 2014, I said goodbye to my family, friends and my animals; sold everything I owned; packed my life into a box; moved to a new country; became a house guest; started a new job; celebrated my 30th birthday; got a new flat on my own; spent holidays and birthdays alone; made new friends; said goodbye to some; saw the sights; remained stuck indoors; built a home; found a new familiar; cried; laughed; fought and pushed through. I spent 10 months without my husband and more importantly, without my children. We spent thousands of pounds and rands, battled, sacrificed and endured and in the end all with one goal in mind – Successfully move our family to a new continent, despite the challenges.
A year later and we have done it.
We have our small home, with our limited number of possessions. The girls have both started and are really enjoying their new schools. My husband started his new job in recent weeks and we look forward to receiving his first pay check. We have our little feline who completes our family. We have met so many amazing people that we consider friends for life, we have had unwavering support from our friends and our family back in South Africa, we have continuous support from our favourite people here as well.
However, it is easy to fall into a trap where I feel like things are just never reaching the final page of the book. That the anti-climaxes are never ending. That the author is ready to put down the pen. Challenge after challenge, let down after let down, struggle after struggle. It is all too convenient to forget how far we have come and focus on the negative. I realised that in order for these speed bumps to flatten, the end of the chapter has to be written by me. So I choose not to forget the last year, but to file it. Today I make the choice to put one year of battles and mistakes, sadness and loneliness behind me.
In one year I have learned the following:
NO matter what your marriage has endured, there is no greater hurdle than distance.
Yet distance between you and your blood will never overshadow love.
Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.
Yet re-connection is all about learning to be together again. As friends, as partners, as family.
Preparation is key to all things.
Yet no matter how prepared you are, you are never prepared enough for disappointment.
It takes an incredibly strong person to make life changing decisions.
Yet even the strongest person can break.
You are never too old to start again, to try something new.
Yet you can be too young to make those decisions – When you are ready you will know.
Loyalty is a phenomenal trait to possess.
However, always remember that doing what is right for you must trump any loyalties you think you have.
Have faith that things will work out in the end.
But faith could be down to faith in yourself – If you believe in you, everyone else will.
Life is too short – Live. Love. Laugh
But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike,
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
And here we are, almost 1 year spent in the UK. Almost my 31st birthday. October 2015, one year on and I am ready to wave goodbye to the emotional roller-coaster that was 2014/2015. My Hakken-Krak. Rest assured, there are still many great changes to come. Not everything is perfect, nor will it ever be. We have made mistakes, we have learned forgiveness, we have learned how to love and how to hate, how to give and how to be, how to move forward with very little and come home with even less. We have accepted that things were the way they were because that is how they were fated to be, we are greater for it.
The lesson for my 31st birthday…
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
Excerpts from Dr Seuss’s ‘Oh the places you’ll go’
*** The above quoted text was copyrighted in 1990 .
For anyone looking to purchase this book, if not for any other reason than it is a Dr Seuss book, here is a link to do so.