The concept of impatience is a rather interesting one when you take the time to delve deeper into the inner workings of the human mind. We rush through hours only to wait days… We spend our whole lives trying to get somewhere as fast as humanly possible and yet we only ever get anywhere at the time and place we are supposed to.

I’ve spent a few days conceptualising my thoughts into a coherent piece of writing on the subject and was listing various examples of being impatient when a prime example happened in front of my very eyes on the train. A stand off in the rail doorway. You want to get off. I want to get on. Let’s waste time in a face off while others climb on effortlessly at alternative entrances. So what did either of us gain? Absolutely nothing but annoyance for the rest of our journey home, the train still arrived at its destination at the exact time it was supposed to.

We are impatient even when we don’t realise it. Driving along you may find yourself cursing the traffic light because it turned red just before you managed to get through it, not stopping to realise that had this light been green, the next would’ve been red anyway. Aggravation reigns and we arrive at our end destination at the exact time that the universe intended… Either way, would it not be easier to be thankful that you arrived rather than annoyed at the inevitable waiting?

We watch our children grow in anticipation of the next event… Their next birthday, the next Christmas, the next family holiday or another year at school. We forget to live in the here and now, focusing on what’s coming instead of what’s already in front of us. Ignoring the fact that ageing is measured anyway and the children will only be that age in that particular moment, never again. There is no time to waste on anything but the present and yet we become the parents impatient with their dawdling around a shopping mall or rushing them through homework, we become the parent holding one hand tightly and dragging them along as they trail behind doing the very thing we cannot seem to get right into adulthood – Living.

Every day we exist through impatience. We rush through breakfast, push through traffic, race to our desks, hurry through the day, escape through the door at the end of the day and then relay home again until finally we make our way to our beds… Not understanding why we are so worn out at the end of the day. The elevator will not go any faster by pushing the floor buttons multiple times, the train doors don’t open any quicker if you push the button repeatedly before the lights come on, your dinner won’t cook any faster when you’re watching the oven and the kettle won’t boil any sooner while your fingers tap the counter. You’ve risked your life impatiently running across the road before the pedestrian crossing light is illuminated, took a chance on an orange traffic light, ran across a train track. We leave the house and cannot remember if we turned the hair straightener off or not, blaming it on OCD instead of lack of attention. We speed walk around instead of stopping to take it all in. We skip the song before its finished in anticipation of the next one. We read the back pages of books before we’ve even read the blurb. We speed read to avoid reading the full article and abbreviate words in texts because we’re too impatient to write out a full word. We rap songs instead of sing ballads, we break dance instead of waltz, we order take out instead of cooking, we shower instead of bath, we drive instead of walk and we are too busy doing all of this that before we know it, we wake up as a middle aged human being realising that all we did is speed to this point of existence and anything of substance was lost in the stream…

I am tired of being impatient. I’m tired of being tired… It’s difficult to let go of what’s been tattooed into your very existence, it’s almost impossible to back track to before fast paced was normal. The thought of doing everything at an average speed instead of the rate of knots is daunting but it’s the resolution I intend on keeping in the forefront of my mind in 2015. To be impatient is to be ignorant and inconsiderate – to be impatient is to the detriment of no one but yourself – to be impatient is a rather lonely existence I’d like to pass up on. To be impatient is merely to exist.

Slow down, no one is going to slow down for you, no one is going to thank you for speed reading through life and at the end of it all, no matter how fast or slow you may be going, it’s at the exact pace it’s supposed to be so you may as well enjoy the ride.

I get bored. Let’s be fair, I am on the train a lot and there are only so many newspapers you can read in a day… So I find ways to pass the time like taking photos of random strangers picking their noses (To name and shame of course) or listening to music.

I then got this idea to write a poem… but not actually ‘write’ the poem. I decided to take a line from every song that I listened to… My music was on SHUFFLE and so I let the iPhone do the work, I wrote a line out from every song that played, as it played. The end result? This! Have a read and try to guess the songs (or sing them) as you make your way through the list… I will also post the artists / songs below so you can see if you were right and if you like my music choices!

***

The choice is yours, don’t be late

Try to find out what makes you tick as I lie down

Let the leaves fall off in the summer

When you fall asleep

I wasted it all just to watch you go

Somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep

I’m walking down the line. That divides me somewhere in my mind.

Tell me I’m the perfect queen

Looking at my own reflection when suddenly it changes

My eyes don’t need to see that ugly thing, I know it’s me you fear

I don’t want to be selfish anymore

I hate to leave you bare, if you need me I’ll be there

Keep me safe inside your arms like towers

And everything I can’t remember

I had no choice but to hear you

***

Nirvana – Come as you are

Breaking Benjamin – Diary of Jane

Fall out boy – I don’t care

Bastille – Oblivion

Linkin park – In the end

System of a down – Toxicity

Green day – Boulevard of broken dreams

In this moment – Dirty pretty

Disturbed – Down with the sickness

Seether – Remedy

Flyleaf – Much like falling

Narcotic – Liquido

Paramore – We are broken

Staind – It’s been a while

Alanis Morisette – Head over Feet

Xxx

I miss you every weekend
miss your faces every day
miss it when you are naughty
miss all the little things you say

I miss seeing you in the morning
miss brushing your hair at night
miss begging you to brush your teeth
miss fighting about the light

I miss how cute you can be
Miss seeing your big toothy smiles
Miss you being grumpy
Miss all the moments that you’ve cried

I miss everything about you
Miss just being your mum
Miss how you smell, touch and feel
Miss everything you’ve done

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss you
Not a day goes by that I don’t see
the emptiness that comes with
You not being with me…

siobhan 3a

IMG_3706

You can imagine the excitement this morning when my Younique collection was waiting downstairs on the coffee table, just dying to be opened and tested! Because, when you have nowhere to go and nothing to do, surely it is only natural to want to play dress up at home as if you were a little girl – Naturally, I gave the parcel what it wanted and introduced the amazing products to my face!

The main product I am looking at today is the 3D Fiber Lash mascara by Younique. It is a little intimidating at first, two tubes in this glamorous little carry case staring back at you in anticipation, but if you follow the instructions on the leaflet you just cannot go wrong… If you have bought these lashes, you may as well throw away and false lashes that are in your possession – YOU REALLY won’t need then anymore, let me show you why.

So what do you need? How to use it?

IMG_3680

Get all your goodies together – You will need your 3D Fiber Lash case (With your gel and fibre’s in of course), regular mascara, a lash and brow brush and an eyelash curler.

US-1017-00 IMG_3867 IMG_3871 IMG_3870

  • You can purchase your 3D Fiber Lash mascara from my website – Shevnique for £23 each or as part of a collection.
  • Younique have an amazing Lash Comb / Brow Brush available which you can purchase on my site for £16 each
  • You can use your regular mascara – Try to use a thinner mascara, not a thick / clumpy one.
  • You can pick up a lash curler for a fiver from the Body Shop

First step would be to brush out your eye lashes, get rid of the clumping and make sure you have cleaned off any residue mascara you may have on your lashes – Clean face equals easy application.

Take your eye lash curler and just give your eye lashes a little bit of a curl – This is important for people who wear glasses like I do. Once your lashes are curled, once your 3D lashes are applied they won’t stick awkwardly outward.

Apply a coat of your regular mascara – Make sure you apply it smoothly and let it dry before continuing. Once your lashes are dry, use your lash comb to brush out any clumps you may have.

Take your 3D fiber lash mascara and start applying them one eye at a time, making sure to take plenty of pics in between of course to ensure you have a before / after look – Be sure to share them with me so everyone can see just how much you love your lashes!

First apply your transplanting gel to your lashes (one eye at a time) – You can do top and bottom or top only, whatever YOU prefer. While the gel is still wet, apply a layer of fiber lashes to your already gelled lashes and finish off with another layer of transplanting gel to seal the fibers to your lashes. You can then apply in the same way to your second eye…

If you are feeling adventurous, you can re apply in the same way to either eye and continue until your lashes are as thick and as long as you prefer – Make sure that with every fiber lash application, you are sealing those fibers in with the gel.

End product?

VOILA!

IMG_3891

But no, I could not stop at the lashes because I had some beautiful lip stain and my lucrative lip gloss so I decided to give myself some luscious lips as well!

FullSizeRenderIMG_3889

And then… the end product! Beautiful, long, 3D lashes and some gorgeously red lips!

IMG_3894

Pity that now I am all dressed up with nowhere to go!

Happy Sunday and Happy Shopping! Make sure you get your Younique 3D fiber lash mascara and any of the other amazing Youinique products asap!

COME SHOP

I had every intention of boarding this train to write a blog to rival the best of them. A piece of work that would have each and every reader rivoted from the very first line. A piece of writing that incorporated only the most sophisticated of writing styles on one of the most controversial topics I could find. A blog that would perhaps one day be recognised by a blogging council and maybe even win an award, the blog that would get me recognised in the blogging community and not just writings of a misunderstood mind. The truth is that the blog I am talking about doesn’t exist because, well, it just is not me.

When I started writing, I fooled myself into believing that I wrote for myself. That writing was therapeutic and it was the only way that I knew how to channel this big personality. For a time I believed that my thoughts and pieces were written for me and me alone, I kept written and printed copies of my writings and referred back to them when I needed inspiration, motivation or when I just wanted a reminder of why I was as dark and brooding as I was. Then social media flew onto the scene and suddenly writing was not just for me anymore, it was a way to get noticed.

I spent a lot of time lonely growing up… I was constantly surrounded by people and yet never had I felt more alone than in my early teens. I was not looking for attention, I was not trying to mimic the ‘wannabes’ that surrounded me. I was just a really confused kid, I did not know where I was going and chose to forget where I had been. I liken myself to Hank Moody’s Becca in Californication sans the guitar playing. I was an emo kid, before emo kid was cool. I was a black sheep before being a black sheep was mainstream. I tested the waters of many a label before I realised there was no label for me and I tried to put myself into many boxes knowing that there was no box I would be comfortable in. I spent hours pouring my confusion, my thoughts and my misguided aspirations into words on paper. It was only when the idea of a blog or social media arrived that I realised my writing could be put out there, that someone somewhere may understand what I have written and perhaps even identify with me… Maybe someone out there was like me? Maybe I did not have to be screwed up on my own…

I remember the first time I put a piece of my own writing on the internet. Long after I was chastised in my English writing class for submitting a piece of work based on the fight between good and evil, the unwritten book of Revelations that I was told was blasphemous and earned me an F for that particular piece of writing. Long after I had started writing poetry and started writing my own book (numerous times may I add, I still have not gotten that right). I became part of the 5FM blogging community and suddenly there were people around me, anonymous ‘people’ that were interested in what I had to say. They were encouraging me to post my writings online. They wanted to READ my most private thoughts and for some unknown reason, I was willing to give it to them!

I remember how belittled I felt when the criticism started, suddenly every one was a writer and I had the grammar police critiquing my English more than people were actually commenting on the subject matter. Surely these people should care about what I have written? Surely the importance of the content far outweighed the fact that I put a comma after the word and (Which is now acceptable I believe). I did not write to become a writer, I was writing to heal myself. I was writing because I wanted to make sense of my thoughts. I was writing because, I had nothing else to do. Now that I could write and post these writings online, it was time to have a concrete shake and deal with the criticism – Suddenly my misguided self medication was not for myself anymore, I was writing to please the people in the PC. I was writing because I wanted to get noticed, I was writing because I wanted someone to care.

How ‘special’ I felt when these bloggers started giving me positive comments, like I was doing something right! This only encouraged me to post as much as possible online and I felt like people finally understood me, I was not alone anymore. How ridiculous a thought that I was seeking approval from people I had never met (Some that I still am in contact with) instead of those closest to me. I was completely misguided in feeling comfortable posting my most emotional works on a blogging site when I could not even share these with friends or family.

Many years was spent posting my life’s work online… Poems I had written in dark times (Available on this blog under the writings section), stories, pieces, rants, reviews… Admittedly, I wanted to be heard and I still do – I am still here aren’t I? I am comfortable now, posting my thoughts here on my own site for the world including those closest to me to see. Do I still seek approval? Or course. Writing is still therapeutic to a degree but at the end of the day, I am in a position where I feel like I have a voice and I want it to be heard, posting these thoughts online is my way to get noticed and my audience is global. I feel honoured, accepted, approved of when people from all around the world take the time to get interested in my work…

Thanks to the internet, I am not just some dark brooding female holed up in a room with a pen and paper.Thanks to the people who actually give a crap, I still have a blog and even if I only get 1 view a day I know that someone took the time to read what I had to say… and that is worth far more than self medicating with a dictionary. I am not always intelligent, I am not always linguistically superior and I am not always controversial. Sometimes I want to write for the sake of writing, like today, like now sitting on this train when I decided that my award winning blog could wait because my desire to ramble was far more important…

Shevy Xxx

I absolutely hate that moment when I get to the last page of a book, a page I know is imminent, and I realise that the story is over. The book has come to an end.

That was how I felt this morning, an overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness at the thought of finally finishing ‘Starter for Ten’, a book I found for free on the iStore and spent the last 3 days reading. I could not put this ‘book’ down and I cannot be sure if it is because I truly was just lonely or because of it’s almost Adrian Mole like appeal which allowed me to reminisce a little about my school days – Not identifying with the Brian’s varsity lifestyle but rather reminiscing about my own school career when I was forced to read Adrian Mole and spent most of my days wishing that I was someone’s Pandora.

The truth is, it is at that point that I wish I could take the author by the short and curly’s and hold him to ransom. Grab him by his collar, hold him up against the wall and shake him violently until he is forced to pick up his pen (or laptop) and continue writing. Just keep going with the story and I read as he types or writes, so that I can follow the life of my hero or heroine forever without ever having to read a different book. Excessive, I agree, but I would love to see if any one author could keep me as captivated as this one did, only for a much longer period of time.

As somewhat of a writer (blogger) myself I understand that this is not possible. The story will not be able to just carry on and sometimes, endings are better left open-ended to allow our minds a wander every now and again. Surely, an author that can leave you as upset as I was this morning has truly done his job well – He has engrossed me wholly and I became a part of his writing, I saw what he saw and I only hope that my imagination has done his character’s justice…

This does not change the fact that I am still angry. Angry that this book was written before a time when a trilogy was a given. Angry that a movie of the same name has been released and I was too self absorbed to know it even existed (I cannot wait to watch this by the way!) and angry at that fact that this author, David Nicholls, has managed to suck me in like a praying mantis in mating season. I am enthralled. I am infatuated. I am obsessed… Well played David Nicolls, well played.

The point is, the character himself is human. Misguided. Mistreated. Misused and misunderstood… just the way I like my lead character’s to be.

It is not like I have a ‘crush’ on Brian Jackson or anything, by any means. He is a 19 year old buy with foolish notions of pretentious endeavours and far too much untreated acne… but there is something about this misguided character that sucks you in. His penchant for art nouveau films makes you want to throw a hundred modern day hipsters at him and shout ‘Look, this is what you are! Only in 1985!’ (Or perhaps it would be more beneficial to throw the book at said modern day hipsters and shout LOOK, this was only cool in 1985?!). The point is, the character himself is human. Misguided. Mistreated. Misused and misunderstood… just the way I like my lead character’s to be.

The book itself is not the most intelligent story line, to be fair it is only a young lad looking to make his way in a very confusing world. No doubt a very dangerous and scary place for a societal outcast in the throes of post pubescent confusion drowning in love, lust, booze and sexual obsession. I think the appeal factor here is not that it was actually a great book or that Mr Nicholls is such a riveting writer (No offence intended)… I guess Brian Jackson has kept me company for a few days and instead of worrying about my own life, I got to worry about his instead. After all, is that not why we read but to escape in the first place?

Farewell Brian, I will miss you.

Shevy Xxx

51CVNq8kCDL.

IMG_3744.JPG

IMG_3677.JPG

It’s PAYDAY tomorrow…
It’s BLACK FRIDAY tomorrow…
It’s ‘TIME TO ORDER’ tomorrow…

Don’t forget about the amazing Black Friday deal that we have on offer – You get the one and only 3D Fibre Lash Mascara in this Beauty Bundle along with these amazing beauty products!!!

🌟Illuminate Clean or Clear
🌟Moodstruck Mineral Pigment Powder
🌟Moodstruck 3D Fibre Lashes
🌟3-piece eye brush set

Go to –

https://www.youniqueproducts.com/shevnique/party/941419/view

- to order!

***BLACK FRIDAY DEAL***

Offer begins: November 27 at 1:00 a.m. PT
Offer ends: December 1 at 11:59 p.m. PT

The holidays are around the corner, and that means it’s time to get gorgeous! Play up the beauty of your skin, your eyes, and your lashes this season with Younique’s exclusive Black Friday Beauty Bundle. Snag the set for (approx) 40% off retail!

#Younique #YouniqueProducts #Shevnique #Beauty #MakeUp #3DFibreLash #Mascara #BlackFriday #Sale #BeautyBundle #Exclusive