Archive for November, 2013

Let’s start with basic definitions as per the English language :

limit
ˈlɪmɪt/
noun
2.
a restriction on the size or amount of something permissible or possible.
“an age limit”
synonyms: maximum, ceiling, limitation, upper limit; More
antonyms: minimum
a speed limit.
“a 30 mph limit”

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target
ˈtɑːgɪt/
noun
noun: target; plural noun: targets
1.
an objective or result towards which efforts are directed.
“the car met its sales target in record time”
synonyms: objective, goal, object, aim, end, desired result; M

***

I do not have a drivers license to drive a car, yet I do have an education and obtained a matric certificate with English as a first language, so to avoid being told that I don’t know what I’m talking about, I will take that direction instead.

A speed limit is exactly that, a limit. It is, as per my dictionary definition above, a restriction on the size or amount of something permissible or possible. A speed limit is set by law, for a reason and the limit set on a particular road is the absolute fastest you’re permitted to drive on that road at that particular time. Why limiters are not sold stock standard on all cars / bikes to limit speeds to 120kph (The maximum permissible speed limit in this country), I don’t know? A speed limit is NOT a target, target definition being an objective or result towards which efforts are directed. You will not win a prize if you reach the speed limit and if caught over the speed limit by the law, the only target will be on your rectum from the cell of a prison.

When a speed limit is set on a particular road (Or the generic speed limit is applied based on the type of road / area in which you are traveling), there is well thought out reason behind this. How ever little your faith (or mine) may be in the law, this is the one area I will back them and their cause. No one is above the speed limit and no one should be allowed to push that limit, my only exceptions would be medical services or police in an emergency however where the yellow lane can be used, it should be. What this means is that, if a speed limit on the highway / freeway is 120kph, the absolute fastest you may travel is 120kph. It does NOT mean that you can travel more than that designated limit because you are in the ‘fast lane’. If you are in the so called fast lane, the fastest traveling speed permitted is 120kph. (Am I getting this through clearly?). Any motorist driving faster than 120kph is breaking the law and should be fined or better yet, imprisoned. Every kilometer per hour faster you drive increases the risk of you murdering my family while we abide by this law. Why should those of us who abide by the speed limit be victimized, sworn at and flipped off because we value our lives and the lives of others on the roads?

Dramatic you say? Perhaps. Today a family day out was tainted by a man doing exactly that, practicing criminal behavior. En route to our family day, to a zoo in Limpopo, we were in the fast lane doing between 110 and 120kph. My husband is very good at obeying the speed limit because he has learned not to have that fight with me, he has no valid argument if he tries. He is overly cautious and especially responsible with the girls in the car. We were traveling on a two lane ‘highway’ that was rather busy for a Saturday morning. We noticed a vehicle getting extremely close to us, trying to push us forward almost in an effort to get us to increase our speed… We did not take notice of him and carried on driving at the legal limit. He fell back a bit and we thought that finally, this speedster had gotten the picture. When it was clear for him to overtake, he did exactly that, sped up and came past. I’m 100% ok with that because if you’re speeding and want to be reckless, rather pass us and do it in your own stretch of road. Sadly, his obvious frustration got the better of him and once in front of us decided to slow down to try and irritate us. This backfired on him as we were nonplussed by his slowing down, he then pulled out into the left hand lane and hubby accelerated to continue with our journey, sadly BMW X3 driver had other ideas. He swerved directly in front of our vehicle so that we couldn’t pass and then when Jp swerved to the left to get out of the way and avoid a collision, he quickly swerved back in front of us to stop us again. His driving was scary, completely reckless and criminal to say the least, exhibiting this behavior and road manner that not only endangered our lives but the lives of my children in the car that he was completely oblivious too as well as the lives of any other vehicle / driver on the road. Thankfully my husband slowed down and we let him race off at what must have been 180kph watching him weave speedily in and out of traffic, but not before I took down his license plate number and have certain people working on taking this man to task.

What did I take from this? I realized that along with 80% of the population, this man too did not know how to operate his indicator on his expensive ‘flashy’ car. I made the deduction that either he needed Alcoholics Anonymous for being drunk at 7:30am in the morning or alternatively, wanted to recommend an anger management class for his apparent road rage. I also became one with my evil side who secretly hoped that karma would get her own back and we’d see his vehicle further down the road, on its roof. But shhhhhhhh, that’s just me being nasty. The sad reality is that, while there are no scientific statistics that prove the number of road rage death fatalities on our roads, studies indicate that two thirds of traffic fatalities can be attributed to aggressive behavior on the roads. We could have died this morning because he was being a moron and that’s something that has played on my mind today, it is too close to home.

This is not on. Too many people complain about drivers like this but can you say that you obey the law when you drive? Do you adhere to the speed limit? Do you drive dry? Are you texting and driving? Do you make a point of getting the hand of the law down on idiots like this? I realize that perhaps this time, nothing will get done, but know that nothing will change unless we work together to drive like responsible, educated adults who have drivers licenses and are willing to stand up and fight against irresponsibility. We are human and have made mistakes, but nothing says that you can’t make the promise that from today and going forward you will make sure you do not become one of these drivers that frustrated and angry people like me feel the need to blog about, or worse, cause permanent damage to yourself or a vehicle alongside you. We have no cause for complaint about the crime in our country if we are all reduced to being criminals like my favorite X3 driver, it starts with one.

Arrive Alive

Shevy

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Gettin’ your hair did

Posted: November 29, 2013 in Personal
Tags: , , ,

I am famous for cutting my hair short, growing it out and then cutting it again… Because I can. In the past, many short styles that I have had really just didn’t do it for me completely. You walk into a hair salon in the hopes that maybe the hair dresser can make you look a little like the model in the pic, but hey, you’re not holding your breath. On the rare occasion I have been happy but there have been many times that I also have not.

Generally, up until I decide to actually have the hair cut, I research the style I want this time etc. I always make sure I find a picture and show it to the hair stylist so that we are on the same page… Sometimes you get a hairdresser who tries to make you happy, but doesn’t get it right, sometimes you get a phenomenal hairdresser and they do your hair so perfectly you never want to wash it again. The idea is to go to a hair stylist who has a reputation of being amazing in that particular look you’re going for.

Today, I found the perfect hair stylist for the type of cut I like and he is amazing! Boy from Carlton Hair in Bel Air cut my hair perfectly, styled it to my face and gave me exactly what I was looking for. I didn’t have to fake a smile as I left the salon, my smile was real and was there because of the amazing job he did!

There is something to be said for taking the plunge and drastically changing your hair. Firstly, the damage is cut out completely so it looks healthier. Secondly, the more drastic the change the more people around you will notice, compliment and then boost your ego :) Lastly, the cut has the power to give you a fresh start. I used to cut my hair every time I broke up with a boyfriend, now I’m married I don’t need an excuse, I just want a fresh look to go with all the other changes I’ve made in my life.

I’m so happy with this cut, the best I’ve had yet :) I feel like a new person and cannot wait to show it off!

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Of course I love my husband, or I would never have married him. He is a great man even though we drive each other completely nuts. I also happen to love my children (fancy that), even when they are being the frustrating kids that they can be… But in an altogether completely different way, damn do I love my furry children, my cats (“,).

It’s easy to see (For me anyway) why the cat was so revered in Egyptian history, why they were worshipped and honored and gifted daily. My house may be somewhat Egyptian in nature with the special treatment my feline children get, right up to sitting on the floor when all four of them have taken up different spots on the couch.

Neopagans and witches historically had a trademark cat (usually black) who acted as the witches familiar spirit… Today, a black cat is thought to be bad luck when crossing your path and yet I don’t seem to have a problem, Lestat crosses my path daily <3.

I have had many cats and animals in my lifetime, a sore point for me but a focal point of my mockery with my family (In good fun) starting with my mice breeding in primary school and a sexually confused mouse named Biscuit. My cat history started with Cleo (Aptly named) who I got when I was in Std 6 / Grade 8. Sadly she was later run over by a car and we only found her by trolling the local pet stores and vets :( Later on in high school, I had Marbles, my best friend and the biggest Tom you'd ever meet who went missing when we moved house. When I had moved out of home I got Jinx, a beautiful tortoiseshell and Rogue, a lovely young girl. I also then adopted Matilda, a Maine Coone who decided she was the boss of the house from the moment she arrived. At this time I was pregnant with my first child and very naive, I believed the stories about getting ill from having cats when being pregnant and about cats suffocating the baby in her sleep… With a heavy heart I rehomed the 3 beauties and I miss them still :(
When my daughter was about a year old, we got Stitch, my first witches familiar ;) He was jet black, smooth and silky and was in a world of his own. When I moved to a new complex, he came with me and we got him a friend. A Rogue lookalike named Lilo. Sadly, a nasty old cow living in our complex at the time blamed Lilo for causing trouble with other cats (A case of mistaken identity with another cat who was a stray). One day when I was at work, she called the SPCA and had them take my cat away… Stitch rehomed himself within the complex, of a broken heart I believe.

By this time, I felt like my relationship with cats and animals was just not meant to be. So many of them in and out of my life and none of them that ever could stay, I was done with cats…
Or so I thought.

Then, along came my husband who from his first marriage got custody of the two furry kids. When he came to live with me, I adopted and became mommy to the beautiful Morgana le Fey (aka Morgan) and Peregrin Took (aka Pippin). They were approximately 5 years old when they came to live with me (now almost 9), Pippin a loving yet schizophrenic feline with a snake like wild side (Apologies if any of my readers have experienced this side of him) and Morgan, a skittish and frightened animal who had been terrorized by a previous owner. As with any new family, adjustments took some time but eventually I won their hearts and their trust. Only a few months after their arrival, Pippin was hiding his alter ego 'Snake' and Morgan even came to sleep on my lap every once in a while… It was awesome to have cats back in the house :)

About 3 years ago (Coming up in December) I walked into the pet shop to have a look at their exotic pets, I do that from time to time. Not to buy but to have a look see. When walking past the kittens a little black ball of fur mewed at me and I knew he was coming home. This is when I found my beautiful boy and soul outside of my body, Lestat de Lioncourt aka Lestat my brat cat. I love this little guy so much, he isn't a people person nor will he come and sit on your lap but when he wants love, by crook you better give it to him! I have loved all of my animals but Lestat is the one creature that has my heart, I wouldn't know what to do if anything ever happened to him.

In March this year, a work colleague was immigrating and could not find a home for her long haired tortoiseshell, Squidge. After much deliberation and convincing, my husband agreed and we acquired the last in our brood of felines. Squidge (aka Khaleesi Squidge / Daenaerys Targaryen / Stormborn) came to us already 8 years old and not used to other animals at all. My 3 cats terrorized her and I was so worried that the adoption wouldn't work but persistence paid off! The boys may only tolerate the girls and every now and again we have a little tif but for the most part, she settled in nicely, made herself at home and laid claim to a specific couch spot that she loves during the day.

After so many animals that have come in and gone out of my life, one thing I'm certain of is that I loved them all immensely. Like with friends, I believe animals come into your life and leave your life for a reason. Each of my pets was there for me at a time I needed them most and I remember and care for each and every animal I have ever owned. I had moments of naivity and stupidity and I'm human enough to admit that, but my animals never wanted for anything… They still don't. I had other animals that I've not mentioned, I cared for them all just the same.

Our little family is now complete… Mommy and Daddy, the girls, Morgan, Pippin, Lestat and Squidge. I've also become a grandmother to Thomas, Hayley's first pet of her own that she has to take care of without my help. My cats bring me so much happiness, I couldn't even begin to explain it. As I
lay here, Squidge and Pippin are on the bed with me, Lestat on the floor next to me and Morgan sitting by the door. They keep me company when I am lonely, make me happy when I'm feeling down, come for a cuddle when they know I need one and leave me when I'm in a mood. Each of them have their own special traits that make them unique and a day just wouldn't be a normal day if Morgan didn't lick my bath water as I bathed, Lestat didn't sleep in the bathroom basin, Pippin didn't have a conversation with you or Squidge didn't sprawl herself out on your lap in front of the tv.

Yes my furry kids, you are my cats and I am your person.

Shevy

Peregrin Took aka Pippin

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Morgana le Fey aka Morgan

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Lestat de Lioncourt aka Lestat brat cat

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Squidge aka Khaleesi

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I’m the first to get annoyed when seeing a weight loss / fitness blog or post. I get frustrated because I want to live that life, be healthy and fit and I feel like this is a battle in life I’m really struggling to overcome.

It happens to all of us. No one in the world is 100% entirely happy with their bodies and how they look all the time… No matter the weight, it’s human nature for us to find something we don’t like… Something we spend far too much time obsessing about.

Most of my life I was of an average size, fairly happy with my weight and without much need for weight loss and dieting (First problem). Sure, I had many issues with many other things about myself. Like the fact that I have to wear glasses because I am blind as a bat, or the fact that I have Psoriasis (Skin condition)… Most of all I spent my life battling with my teeth (Refer to previous posts) but never was my weight, my worry.

After the birth of my oldest daughter and my massive 30kg weight gain, I found myself fighting get the weight off. Personal issues did at one point halt my weight loss and need for a healthier lifestyle and only by the time she was 4 years old was I finally in my happy place again at a weight with which I was comfortable. I wasn’t too skinny, in fact still pretty curvy, but I was going to gym and I was healthy.

Shortly after this time I met my now husband, after the birth of my second daughter the weight all came back into my body and now I sit in the same position only heavier (And she is already 2).

So… Me putting on all this weight and NOT losing anything is not for lack of trying. Just over a year ago we joined gym, tried to be healthy, quit smoking etc. Sadly, it was all to much for me. Gym. Homework. Work. Kids. I was overwhelmed and what felt like over worked… Going to gym dwindled in June / July of this year and I cancelled the contract in September to avoid wasting anymore money on a contract we didn’t use. Shortly after this, my husband started Crossfit and this may have been the act that kick started my thoughts into needing to do something again for myself and weight loss.

In early November, I started shift work. What this means is that I have no excuse about not having time to get fit. The truth is, I have more time now than I ever did. I decided (Refer to earlier blog post) that I was going to join Crossfit as well but when I arrived, a misunderstanding with the class times caused me to leave. This completely threw my interest off of Crossfit and to be truly honest, Crossfit scares the living hell out of me not to mention the cost would scare my bank balance.

In a last ditch attempt for self preservation, I had to cringe a little bit and bite the wallet bullet. I reopened my gym contract (only for myself this time) and re paid the joining fee. While it hurts me initially, in the long run gym is far cheaper than Crossfit and I will have complete control over my workouts. I have started eating healthier again, we have cut out all the breads and fizzy drinks and are just trying to live a healthier lifestyle for all of us. Then, I splurged again. Today I went out and bought the USN 12 week body makeover starter box and tomorrow is Day 1, I’m ready to go.

So now, I am trying my hardest to live the best life that I possibly can. I am going to be active (The plan is to gym at least 5 times a week), I am changing my eating habits, I am drinking more water and I am using supplementation to help my body through what is a hardcore change. Many people have their own thoughts on supplements and I appreciate those opinions but the truth is that I need help and these products are designed to do that… Help me. I used to want to just be happy with my weight, now I want a six pack. I used to just want to be healthy, now I just want to be fit.

My biggest problem, though the road to health has been kick started, is that I just cannot motivate myself and yet I cannot be motivated by anyone else either. Heck knows that my husband tries to motivate me all the time, even allowing me to splurge money that we don’t really have on products I feel that I need to get to where I want to be. We tried gymming together and while for a short time it was working and weight was being lost, when I got lazy and tired the weight piled back on. I am trying to be my own biggest cheerleader, my own sports psychologist, my own nutritionist and my own personal trainer. It’s not easy, by no means is it easy, I wish I knew how to make it easier.

I have been through many battles in my life. I truly have. This is a war that I feel like I am not ever going to win and currently I am going through bouts of despondency and excitement. The scary thing is that sitting here writing about this, there are hundreds of thousands of women going through the same thing. So many women who feel the same hopelessness about how they look and wish they could do something to change it. The truth is that there is something you can do about it… It just takes a heck of a lot of willpower that is not born overnight, it’s years and years in the making. No one can make this decision for you and no one but yourself can push you into a headspace needed for your life to change completely.

I need to feel that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life, if for no one else but myself. Cheating food wise or skipping a workout is only going to affect me and no one else. The only person that I would hurt is myself and I’m not prepared to do any further damage to myself, mentally or physically. Am I going to miss being able to eat and drink what I like? Hell yes. Will I feel exhausted and want to give up, many times. Indeed. Will I want to use the words ‘Not now, tomorrow’? Often. This time though, as I sit here I know that this time I want this to be different. I have every tool at my disposal, there is no excuse, now it’s time for me to do this.

This is a long journey, an almost never ending one, so thank you to all my friends and family for understanding that this is not going to be an easy time for me. Thank you especially though to my sister, the gym bunny :) You are totally my inspiration and I hope to one day in the not too distant future get to a place that people think we are actually sisters instead of Laurel and Hardy. My sister is someone who has worked very hard to get to where she is today and she looks amazing for it. Sadly, I don’t think road cycling is my thing but that just means I need to find something else to get to that place instead.

So yes, this was another annoying weight loss blog post but its a heartfelt one, 30kgs is a lot to lose but I’d sooner lose that than the respect from those around me by not being honest about the challenges I’m currently facing. While I am happy with every other aspect of my life, this is one thing I need to change to be truly happy.

All I ask is that you wish me luck :)
The time for me is now.

Shevy

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I have spent a lot of time in thought lately, thought about life, love and friendships. New friends, old friends, friends that have left and friends that returned. I have learnt from all my thinking that I have in fact matured and so have all the people around me… with maturity comes growth and sometimes separation. We grow into each other, we grow apart, we stay together or we separate.

It is an amazing thing to be apart from those closest to you, whether it is for 2 days or 2 years and to feel like it was only just yesterday that you saw each other. This is a true sign of a lifetime friend, the friends that no matter what happens; you will remain loyal to each other, inside and out.

Recently, a lifetime friend of mine and I have come back into contact. While the details of how an 18 year relationship turned south are not required for this piece, let us just say that it was not pretty for either of us. Misunderstanding and miscommunication are powerful things and allow for too much hurt to be caused, something extremely difficult to bounce back from. Many a night I sat and wondered how we let things get to where we did and how do you even begin to bounce back from that? Of course, my now husband did not understand or even realise why I was as upset about it as I was and why I could not just give up, even though I was mostly the cause of everything that happened. In the time that we were apart, the biggest changes either of us knew we would ever face happened. We missed critical moments in each other’s lives that we had spent our whole lives planning, something I will forever regret. While one of us finally gained her long awaited, most deserved freedom, the other finally found her ‘one’ and settled down. It was role reversal in its truest form, the tables were turned and we learned to live in each other’s shoes without even realising it at the time. 2 years later, we have become friends again. Friends that just yesterday were having sleepovers and growing up together. Friends that spent most of our waking moments together and friends that, through thick and thin, were stuck with each other for a lifetime.

The truth is that, we needed that break. We may not have seen it at the time and it may have taken all of this hurt, anger, bitterness and anguish for us to get there but when the dust settles and the smoke clears, it was as clear as day. We needed to separate. We needed a separation for appreciation. There is a corny line that says, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. As corny as this line is, it holds so much truth in love and in friendship. Long periods of time have this habit of causing us to take for granted what we have right in front of us. The only way we realise this… is the hard way.

All this upset aside; when we saw each other again it was as if nothing had ever happened. We realised that we were old enough and mature enough to admit what we did wrong, where we went wrong and how we go about picking up the pieces. Little did we know that the pieces had already put themselves back together without us even knowing it. We had to push ourselves to learn so much from this experience and though we both had to push through and carry on with our lives without each other, we would never have learnt so much if we had not said our silent goodbye’s when we did.

I am seeing more and more that as our generation get older, we all have more and more that we need to deal with. In our personal lives, at work, within our friendship circles or just within ourselves. Learning to deal with our personal issues is not something you are taught from a textbook in school and the first human instinct is to push those closest to us away. Friendships end or stagnate and too much time is spent on deciding who should text who first or trying to understand where and what went wrong. Only once you lose someone very close to you, you learn that it truly would have been easier just to speak and up and say what was troubling you. At the end of the day, nothing you can do can take the place of some time apart to fully understand just what it is you want and are missing.

What have I learnt from all of this?

I have learned that friends definitely are around for a reason, season or lifetime. I have met many friends that came into my life just when I needed them, for a specific reason. Acquaintances that have come and gone for the short season they were around. Lifelong friends that you would move the earth for, because they’re the ones spinning on it with you. I have learnt that if you want something badly enough, you fight for it. I have learnt that you can be no one else but yourself and whether reason, season or lifetime, those friends are around because it is YOU that they are drawn to.

Regrets? There are many.

Second chances? Even more.

Reason, Season or Lifetime? You may just be stuck with me for good, but in the time you are around you have my full attention.

***

Reason, Season or Lifetime.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

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Waiting For a Light That Never Comes

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Random

Originally posted on @SerenaCG:

I think as humans we experience so much pain and hurt, we all get rejected on a daily basis in some small way, we’re all trying desperately to prove ourselves, and when someone hates us it really hurts.

Listening to the new Linkin Park song A Light That Never ComesI couldn’t help thinking that really life on Earth is Hell, and maybe that’s why so many people long for the afterlife, and try do right by their belief system because the life they are living is so hard, and all they can do is hope that somewhere it just gets better.

Every day is a battle for all of us in some way, we all have our own demons, insecurities and we all make mistakes all the time. It is literally impossible to live life “right” but we try. And most of us try to do this by the…

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Appeal from a 2 Wheeler

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Personal, Travel
Tags: , , , ,

This morning I woke up to beautiful,  cool, wet and rainy weather. I love this weather… especially when I can stay in bed.

Sadly, today I can’t because it’s Friday which means I have to go to work. Sad because I’ve got to drive in the rain,  not because I have to go to work.

I’m appealing to ALL drivers on the roads today to THINK BIKE and to all bike drivers, THINK CAR in weather like this. Last night I had to drive home in the rain which meant driving very slowly and cautiously to avoid an accident, while I got home safely thanks to my own caution, the same cannot be said for the cars that sped past me at speeds that definitely don’t allow for sudden breaking.

As a scooter owner, in wet weather that I don’t have a choice in driving in, this is what I’m going to do.

I’m going to SLOW DOWN – Self explanatory.  In wet weather on a bike, the driver and the bike get soaked… this includes the brakes which I won’t risk not working in higher speeds where I can slide out on the road.

I’m going to use my brights. When there is no oncoming car, I will use my brights to see in front of me. Out of courtesy, when I see a car coming from the opposite direction I will turn them off. I’d appreciate you doing the same, while you’re coming at me with your brights on, I can’t see anything including the road.

I may weave potholes. If I hit one,  I will slip, buckle a wheel and probably get driven over by the speedster on my ass. This is not an excuse for you to overtake me in my own lane… if I’ve swerved slightly to the left to avoid a donga in the tar, maybe you should do the same?

By all means overtake me… I understand that you’re not comfortable doing the speed limit or less and feel the need to overtake me to reach your speed target. In fact,  I’d rather you do so I don’t get involved in your accident. If you are going to overtake, do it like you would a car. Wait for oncoming traffic to clear, move out into that lane and then come in front of me. Trying to overtake me in my own lane while cars are coming is just not advisable. I may not fill the road but have every right to use it… I’m a nice chick too, I’d probably move over if I saw you coming.

Get off my ass! There is no need to drive so close you’re trying to get inside. I will not drive faster and I will not move over. In fact, I’d try everything to irritate you. Drive the speed limit or over take me properly.

I’m going to get wet. I’m ok with this. You do not need to aggravate the situation by driving through the dam in the road at 120kph. I’m not keen on tsunamis in suburbia, try to be mindful of that when we’re passing this body of water at the same time.

So my appeal to you all is to drive safely and be mindful of others on the road… we all have somewhere to go.

Shevy
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It’s that time of the year / contract again when I’m ready to update and upgrade my gadget. I have been a Blackberry user (Loved it until I got my Samsung), I am a loyal Samsung user and have had my S3 for a year and now it’s time for me to crossover to another platform… I’m fully (Well almost because I don’t own a Mac book) migrating over to Apple and it’s Ios. On Friday I upgraded and ordered my iPhone.

Refer to a blog I posted in March titled Technophobic :

https://theshevster.wordpress.com/2013/03/07/technophobic/

Ok… ok… ok… Apple users everywhere,  stop rejoicing and carrying on like you won another Jobs follower. I know how you lot can be, heck I’m married to one.

And all you Apple haters, stop judging for two minutes… even if just to hear my rational.

Between two very different and yet loyal brand groups, you’d swear there were only two models of phones in the world to choose from. You’re either Apple or your not,  Samsung or you’re not. I’ve heard every argument from every owner on why I should choose a certain phone over the other. Sadly,  other devices like the Nokias and HTC’s of the world didn’t even feature in my decision,  probably because I associate regression with these phones and well… they just don’t interest me.

When I got my choice last year from hubby of Samsung or iPhone, I chose Samsung. I’d listened to everyone then and decided that for what I use my phone for, I needed a phone that’d cater to all my social networking needs as well as serve the function of an actual phone. I tweet, facebook, instagram, blog, pin, whatsapp, BBM (Recently) and still squeeze in a few calls and text messages. Up until now my Samsung S3 served its purpose well, I love the phone and it does what it needs to do. So why am I not staying with Samsung and moving up to the S4?

Truth is, I get bored easily.  I barely manage to wait for my upgrade let alone stick with one phone / device for 2 years. I’ve gotten completely used to the Samsung and it’s features and it’s awesome and I’m ready for something new. This is where the iPhone comes in… a device I’ve never owned and a phone I’ve managed to operate on the odd occasion my husband let’s me anywhere near his. I already have an iPad and will eventually take over my husband’s Mac book when he gets his new one… the Apple world makes sense and until I try it for myself,  I refuse to judge.

So fo everyone going “Oh no, why are you doing it???” the answer is… why not. Who says I can’t use or have both,  switch it up a bit?  Why not enjoy the best of both brands when the opportunity presents itself?

For all of you saying finally, welcome to the dark side etc etc etc,  don’t get too full of yourself yet ;) I may get bored of the iPhone in a year or two anyway and possibly give an LG a chance.

Power of choice
Shevy

Happy birthday awesome husband!

Posted: November 17, 2013 in Family
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Yes… that’s right,  it’s inquisitorofways (WordPress) / Inquisitor17 (Twitter) / jp_1379 (Instagram) or to me Jp’s birthday. Happy birthday my love, hope you have an amazing day,  we love you tooo much.

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Lessons in lost love

Posted: November 14, 2013 in Personal
Tags: , , , ,

Sadly, we don’t all meet our first love and live happily ever after. Storybooks are still made of such stories of love and every so often you will meet someone who did exactly that, married their high school sweetheart, but it’s unfortunately not common practice anymore.
That said, this means that people / love interests / crushes / boyfriends / girlfriends and friends will make a series of weaving patterns into and out of your life, more often than not far beyond your control.

I have had my own fair share of boyfriends and love interests and at the time of those relationships ending, I did feel a little like the roof was caving in even though it was me doing the ending. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t ending the relationships first before they had a chance to or it was pure commitment phobia but nevertheless, it doesn’t make it any easier. Then, the only time it’s ever happened to me, I was broken up with. No matter what I had ever felt before, the pain of this boy breaking my heart was soul destroying… Something I thought I would never get over.

Guess what? 4 years later and I got over it. I’m now happily married with 2 children and thankful for that boy breaking my heart or I’d never have met my husband and had the opportunity to have the amazing life I do now. Yet still, this person taught me what it truly felt like to hurt and how much one person can possibly cry.

No, this is not a feel sorry for me story nor do I have any regrets of how things turned out. This person entered my dreams last night and when I woke up this morning it was quite clear about what I have learned because he walked out the door. I’m sharing this in the hopes that someone, somewhere going through a similar heart crushing ordeal may see, it’s not all doom and gloom.

Ok, there is a little doom and gloom so let’s get that out of the way.

The friends. When I met said ex, I blended what I thought was quite nicely into his friendship circle. Baring in mind, we lived together and dated for a year so these were people I saw nearly every weekend! I remember rainy afternoons and potjie days and so many laughs together. They weren’t by best friends, they were my friends. 4 years on I look back and wonder how they’re all doing, where they live, where they’re headed. Sadly when the relationship ended, so did the friendship and these people were never to be seen again.

The family. However culturally different his world was, I got along really well with his family, especially his mom and sister. They truly became my family and we spoke and visited often. We kept in touch for a short time after the break up but sadly that fizzled out. Understandably, he’d moved on and found a new girlfriend and it wouldn’t have been fair to her for the family to keep me around.

The friendship. Despite our relationship not working out, for me to have been with him in the first place makes him a pretty awesome person. He really was :) So all romance aside, it is sad to lose a person like that as a friend.

Children. He had no children of his own however I had a daughter from a previous relationship, in the time we were together she got extremely close to him so at the age of 4 when I had to explain to her what happened, she did notice his absence. Fortunately children are resilient.

Now for the happy stuff!

Children. My daughter is nearly 8 now, she hasn’t forgotten who he was in our lives but no permanent damage was done, her relationship with her stepdad makes up for it.

Spice rack. I’m sad to say that after 4 years, the spice rack that got left behind by him was thrown out. It served its purpose, now I need a new one.

Friends. I have made a massive amount of new friends, though the old ones are missed I can carry on because I have quality in the friends I have. I have learnt that if a couple split up, I will not choose sides, inevitably one or both of them will decide who they want to spend more time with and that just ends up choosing the side for you (Yes, this happens). I also realized just how amazing my own friends were at the time of this break up who put up with my sniveling and misery for 8 months, took me out every weekend and then introduced me to my husband, what amazing friends I have. (One in particular introduced me to my break up anthem, Armin van Buuren – Fine without you, it’s a good track and you should totally download it).

Family. Though his were missed, my own never left and I have gained even more now… Including a daughter. Other family may come and go but your own never left, we’d do well to remember that.

DJ Ossewa and the Vrystaat Mambo. Dating an Afrikaans man meant a little bit of a culture shock (Not in a bad way). This meant being exposed to DJ Ossewa, the funniest Afrikaans act I’ve ever seen. Though I’m happy to now know who they are, I’m comfortable to move on from that.

Humble. How to be it… I probably thought I was so awesome, how could anyone leave me or be able to move on from this? Well they can and he did and I’m only as awesome as I think I am. You cannot control people’s emotions or force them to love you when they don’t, no matter how much dignity is lost as you beg and plead for them not to go. (And at some stage, no matter how proud you are, you have or will do this).

Resilience. I bounced back, better than ever. It was freaking hard, but I bounced back. Getting rid of all his stuff, though advisable, doesn’t help but neither did having further contact with him after the break up. One must remember it’s called a break up because it is broken and try to leave it at that. Memories are a lot more difficult to get over, just tell yourself that your brain is like a hard drive and you need to rewrite the memories. I partied hard, I was open to possibilities and because of that I fixed my heart, superglue and duct tape but it was fixed.

Age, height and readiness. Now that I think about it, I was probably a rebound for him though I don’t think he’d admit that. He had been engaged before me and we starting dating and moved in together fairly quickly. He is younger than me, taller than me and possibly wasn’t ready for what he got with me, which was an instant family. My husband is older than me, shorter than me and was definately ready to settle down when we met… It worked.

I feel that my lot in life meant I had to truly get my heart broken before I would find love. That definately happened. My ex will always be the one that shattered the ice queen but because of him and that I need to be thankful. I got so much more after his exit from my life and I hope he got the same. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand the reason at the time it’s happening, it becomes clearer much later on. I don’t hate him, I don’t regret him and I don’t wish the worst on him. I have put him on the shelf next to everyone else in life that has taught me something and I’m still learning, every single day.

Shevy

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