Archive for May, 2014

Cherubs

Posted: May 30, 2014 in Friends, Personal, Writings
Tags: , , , , , ,

A poem for my friends…
Their loss so great, their presence not forgotten.

(Permission granted to post)

***

Mother of dragons you aren’t
Beauty and wonder far more you own
Sometimes you shan’t ever understand
Why you feel so incredibly alone

Such a gift you were given
As swiftly taken away
To walk among the living
Was for them a few weeks of play

Destined for greatness elsewhere
You were the perfect host
How cruel and unfair
You out of all will miss them most

The truth to their existence
We shall never understand
More important lifetimes they face
In spirit, always hold their hands

The pain now
Far too much to bear
In time it will hurt a little less
For a lifetime you will care

The twins of your womb
Enjoyed their brief yet loved stay
You were specifically chosen
To face this devastating day

Only you are as strong
For with this sadness to deal
No other mother on the planet
Could make their lives more real

They know how much you loved them
They know how much you cared
I’m certain that they’re sad for leaving
But know that you’re prepared

Their absence swallows many
Their presence always missed
We love the twins intensely
A soul your soul has kissed

I hold your hand, head and heart
Through this trying time
My friend I’m so sorry
My favorite, mine.

***

Shevy

Look up.

Watching ‘Look Up‘, the latest YouTube sensation by Gary Turk, I’m reminded of just how much our lives are influenced by technology. Not only technology, but the hundreds of thousands of little people that live in our devices, our social media networks. Over 39 million views were received by this video so perhaps we are all identifying with the same issue, the ongoing battle of balance between real life and living in the interwebz.

I remember getting my first MySpace page, jazzing it up and for the first time putting myself out there on the internet. Keeping up with my favorite musicians online and finally bridging the gap between my insignificant life and the rest of the world. Global society was so close, I could almost reach out and touch it. Friends were mouse clicks away. MySpace truly was my little spot on the internet, my tiny little 10011011 on the worldwide web.

That’s the beauty of the internet. On MySpace, you could be anyone you wanted to be. Perhaps a shy, antisocial female in the outcast circles of reality but online, a beautiful girl with popularity matched by none and great tastes in everything. Welcome to the internet, welcome to your new life, enter the world of the digital alter ego… Dum dum dum.

20140525-154204-56524098.jpg

20140525-154407-56647465.jpg

20140525-154407-56647602.jpg

We now live in a world where MySpace was the tip of a Titanic iceberg. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Foursquare have all become part of our daily routines, to name but a few. The fact that you’re reading this means you clicked on my blog link from my share on Facebook or Twitter. Possibly searching key words on Google or scrolling through your followed bloggers on WordPress, a blogger yourself. Each one of the 39 million views of the Look Up video were online, through any of the above social media sites or YouTube directly. The internet and social media does not make it possible to live, they do however make it possible for me to live as I do now. Openly, in view of social network eyes and public scrutiny. I choose this, I created all of these profiles.

Unfortunately, along with freedom of speech and public living, social media came with a very long list of negatives. Privacy? Non existent (though, you’re not forced to have public profiles). Dissociation. Because, why would anyone need real people when the ones in your phone make so much more sense? Crime. Sadly, criminals will always find a way in and so the internet opened up thousands of doors. The list continues and we could be here discussing negatives all day, sadly the one negative bothering me today is not as serious as any of the minuses listed above… It delves a little deeper in to the human condition.

20140525-155507-57307428.jpg

It’s saddening to me that social media is used in the fake ways they’re used today. You’d think that with the access we’ve been given and opportunities available to us through social media, we’d be using them in more of a truthful way? Alas, no. In fact, isn’t it frustrating how every friend on your Facebook page has the perfect life and relationship. Every Twitter handle a positive one (barring the anonymous ones). Every Instagram picture beautifully manicured and posed and every meal posted, a gourmet one. While being as active as I am online, I do have friends and relationships in real life. Like everyone, I have concerns and hang ups and problems. For every good day, there is a bad day. For every posed #nomakeupselfie, there is a bad acne day. I am human. What is sad to me is that people, society, friends and family choose to portray another life online, a life of perfection.

I am not one who enjoys breeding negativity, I really am not. I’d also probably complain if everyone on my timeline was constantly negative and pessimistic however, I’d like to see a little bit more realism online. I wish people would be more honest.

I know people in real life that constantly whine and fuss, in fact nothing in their life ever goes right in their books and anything more than a grimace is fake. I struggle to understand how those people are the ones posting positive meme’s, poems and updates online. Who are they fooling?
I know individuals that hate their spouse, hate reality. These are the people posting hundreds of happy photos with their partners and overly compensating on their Facebook walls.
I haven’t seen friends in reality for years and yet year in and year out, we wish each other for our birthdays and continue to stalk each other without actually having to see each other… This is sad to me, in fact it’s disappointing.

There is nothing wrong with spending a quality amount of time online, update your status three times a day or tweet a thousand times this year. Update all three meals of the day or check in online at the office if you must. We are all guilty of trying to portray our real lives in the best and most positive light but again I must remind you that we are all human. If you’re having a bad day, don’t be afraid to say so. It’s only natural, isn’t that what social media is about? Sharing?

20140525-161533-58533107.jpg

20140525-161533-58533022.jpg

20140525-161533-58533260.jpg

Recently, I decided to take a chance and put two of my controversial blogs onto News24. Why did I do this? The truth is, though you’d hope people closest to you would be honest with you, this is not always the case. Friends and family may not agree with your opinions, but to keep the peace these views won’t be aired (Not saying this is true in my case or speaking for anyone, this is a general observation). I thought the best scrutiny to receive was from those who didn’t know me, who could judge me on my honesty and opinion alone. This exercise was a pretty disheartening one, I received over 7000 views online and yet between them maybe 5-7 positive comments and the rest were nasty, angry opinions. At first, this upset me. On a closer read and given more thought, it occurred to me that a lot of these people are those that portray happy fulfilling lives online but perhaps experience repression in reality, everyone needs a release right and their lambasting of my blog was exactly that. Or perhaps they’re going against everything I’ve said in this piece, they’re negative online and off and I’ve just chosen to befriend the correct people. Who knows..?

Back to the point. It’s not enough to be digitally social for me. While I am notoriously active on social media (having received criticism for this in the past), I have a life offline. It’s not perfect. I go through challenges just as frequently as everyone else, but I’m honest about that life (read my previous blogs if you’re unsure of my honesty). I’m not asking anyone to be negative unnecessarily. All I ask is that you be mindful of hypocrisy, chances are if I know how you act in real life, I’ll see straight through your online facade… As will others.. Or maybe that’s what you were hoping?

Shevy

I am not a a South African.

Keep calm, I’m not an illegal immigrant either. I moved to South Africa when I was 6 years old and legally obtained permanent residence here. This means I’m allowed to work, bank and reside in South Africa without having citizenship. I am permitted to apply for citizenship since I’ve naturalized in this country but sadly, South Africa, I decline your offer. I’ve not been denied citizenship, I just don’t want it.

My ID book reads NON SA CITIZEN… This means I can do everything a citizen of a South Africa can do except the one thing the country needs me to do. Vote. Yes, if I applied for citizenship and took the time and opportunity to call myself a South African, I would be able to offer that one additional vote but sadly, it’s just not worth it for me.

I never completely understood why I didn’t develop a desire to become a citizen of the country. I was so young when I moved here and remembered little of my birth country. Fortunately, I’ve been afforded a few travel opportunities which have, in my travels, led me back to the United Kingdom. I cannot begin to describe the feelings I experience when I travel to London, it’s as if I know in my heart and my head know that I’m home. Suddenly my solitary vote doesn’t seem too important.

So why am I still here? Well, once roots are planted its difficult to pull them from the ground. I have a husband, I have two children and I have family and friends, all here in a South Africa. For now it is my home, yet I’ve made it popular knowledge that I have a desire to relocate my family to England and somewhere in the not too distant future I hope to do this.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate South Africa. I’m not clambering at the embassy doors for a way out, it’s my home after all. What we have here for the most part is a beautiful country, great weather (if you like the weather, though my Anglo Saxon blood tends to favor the cool rainy seasons), good opportunities (I’ve never had a problem career wise, despite my skin color and the same goes for many I know of all races), unity (when a rugby match is on, not football, just rugby) and social media access (the same cannot be said for China). As I write this though, I battle to churn out the positives to be seen in South Africa because based on the recent ‘free and fair’ elections, I struggle to see freedom or fairness.

Of course, I encourage anyone allowed to vote to do so. It is imperative that your voice be heard as a citizen of this country. It is your valuable choice that adds up to a thousand valuable choices and hopefully an intelligent outcome… So, as someone who doesn’t (and can’t) vote, what gives me the right to complain when I cannot provide a contribution to the system that decides our countries fate? Truth is, I don’t generally complain. In fact, I’m still here, as affected by this countries bad decisions as ever. The time is coming for me to make my decision though, shall I apply for citizenship or shan’t I? My resolve remains a resounding no, sadly, I shan’t.

I refuse to be tarnished by the same brush of a country that fairly allows for the lynching of rural residents who choose to break the mould and vote against the existing government. How disgusting that a video of a woman being savagely beaten to death goes viral and shows nothing more than the backwards nature of our political freedom. How free she was as she lay grounded by the axe blows to her forehead, how free and fair was her election? It’s definitely a fair election when parties are going out of there way and taking time from their busy schedules to offer the impoverished communities money (R50) and clothing (branded t-shifts) to entice the masses into a vote. Of course, the illiterate and uneducated understand that R50 will feed their family that day but the bigger picture is in shadow, another vote won by shameless bribery, that’s fair surely but for the tax payer, definitely not free. How sad that the most valuable piece of paper you can mark for the government gets left uncounted, that boxes upon boxes of discarded ballots are being used as fire fuel to the poor, I’d say that’s a pretty free and fair election. The icing on the cake would be the theft of my mobile number to punt your criminal party to me days before and days after the election without my permission, but I guess you assumed you didn’t need this permission did you? Free and fair? Free. Fair. My arse.

So if I was a citizen, posting my thumb selfie, post voting day, would I be truly confident that the elections were free and fair and I can sleep better knowing all that could have been done was in fact done? Hardly, in fact they were probably rigged from the start and Nelson Mandela is churning in his grave at the disgusting behavior of our government and total shambles that is our backwards voting system. It can’t be that bad though right? Because google our elections and ten websites will pop up reiterating how great they actually were, going off without a hitch. Too few links come up with the truth, the anguish and the murder behind elections 2014 and what’s being done to rectify it.

I constantly say ‘our’ when referring to South Africa. The petrol price sucks but I have petrol. eTolls suck but I drive on roads. Internet prices suck but I have a modem. Food prices disgust me but I eat. Traffic is disgusting but I drive to work daily. Education is in the toilet but at least my children have schools to go to. Racism is rife but I’m free to befriend all colors and creeds. Water is dirty, but I can drink it. Eskom goes out more than an old man’s back but I have a power source. So many things here to upset me South Africa, yet I don’t complain. This time, I’m afraid you’ve pushed the boundaries and I’m no murderer nor will I be an accomplice to one. I’m sorry South Africa, citizenship denied.

Shevy

20140514-204028.jpg

Dear Solange.

Posted: May 13, 2014 in Random
Tags: , , , , , ,

Dearest Solange,

I must thank you for the laughing fit that ensued after watching the brief video clip that was released of you attacking Jay Z. You’ve reiterated once again that celebrities are human as well and we all have our dodgy family dramas, even you. I must admit, I’m intrigued as to why you went at your brother in law like a street hooligan and can’t understand the desire to throw the the first punch in that rather small elevator. For future information, decent space is required to get good air to your kicks and therefore an elevator is not recommended.

I’m as human as the next person, for that reason I understand the motive of jealousy (If that was your MO at all). Yes, your sister is undoubtedly one of the most successful pop stars of all time (A career you’re trying to develop) and she’s married to one of the wealthiest music moguls of present times. I get that you may have been a little upset but can’t possibly understand why you chose that particular time and place to have a physical go… It probably was not a smart idea to beat your family member in full camera view for the public to see, causing much upset at the use of your expensive handbag (tragedy!)

The funniest articles are saying it was a ferocious attack, though I’m uncertain as to what was feral about it. You were pissed off (obviously) and the guy probably needed a smack. I’m sure he has to pay people not to hit him a lot of the time, but I don’t believe it’s good practice to be beating your sisters husband. No doubt future family lunches may be a little awkward after this debacle.

The hotel is shocked at your behavior, what’s even more shocking is the free publicity they’re receiving after the Knowles vs Carter lift showdown. They’re so perplexed they’re releasing statements, well done on giving them 100% occupancy from now until well, forever. Rather strategic of them, releasing that ever so private video footage and not laying claim to the ‘leak’.

Whatever the reason, well done for being human.
Keep us smiling
Shevy

I didn’t always plan on being tattooed. I grew up as a ‘black sheep’ with very different and unique ideals about life. I have always been headstrong and opinionated and because of this, was bound to stray from the path of the white picket fence… Once I turned 18, I started getting tattoos and never looked back. Here I am today, female, fun and full of ink… And I don’t plan on slowing down anytime soon.

Let me be clear, being female and having tattoos does not mean that I am a Rockabilly chick – Why? Because that takes work. Work, time, effort and creativity. Am I worthy? Perhaps, but I have some work to do before I get there and live this lifestyle that I have fallen so deeply in love with. I curtsy to all the women (and men) living this era, the effort that it takes with hair and make up and the beauty that you exude when out on the town… I have the most respect for the dolls out daily in their dresses with hair in perfect curl and red lipstick on point, in fact, I’m envious.

If unsure about what Rockabilly is, here are a few pages with some information to better educate you on the style and era :

Wikipedia – Rockabilly
How to be a Rockabilly Dollie
Pin up vs Rockabilly

Here begins the road to Rockabilly.

After following a few Pin Up and Rockabilly enthusiasts via social media in the past year, I developed an interest in the clothing, make up, hair and overall attitude of the era. I kept an eye out on trends, accessories and hair color for an overall picture of what Rockabilly was about, though never acting on transitioning to a Rockabilly girl myself. Me? Shevy? The rocker chick that doesn’t even wear dresses, ever? How absurd. Or so I believed.

Last year, we were invited to attend a Rockabilly themed anniversary party which I thought was a great opportunity to try out the Rockabilly style. I donned red skinnies, pumps, a vest and checkered shirt with some red in my hair and make up to match. I spent weeks figuring out my outfit, calling on all contacts for help and making the best go of it I possibly could. The end result, a Rockabilly / Psychobilly hybrid which I absolutely loved! I felt… Comfortable.

20140511-172833.jpg
My interest was peaked. I really enjoyed ‘dressing up’ and realized that I wanted this to be more than a dress up. I could do this, as a way life, couldn’t I? Sadly not, life got in the way and before I knew it, a new year was upon us. Then, my dad announced the dates and theme for his 50th birthday party (Theme – Glam) and I knew that the 50′s were waiting to be channeled by no one but me.

The first step, finding a dress. For followers of my blog, you’ll know that my dress search became almost, well, hopeless. Basically, the dress I ordered months ago was stolen at customs (Full Story – Time for a rockabilly rant) and the second dress that my husband drove to Sasolburg and back to collect didn’t end up fitting. A desperate cry for help via social media (Thank you The Tattooed Lady) led me to find this little gem of a shop in Brooklyn Mall, Pretoria called Retrospective. Mondi was amazing, the day before the party I’d already been in contact and on the day of, we arrived to fitting rooms ready with dresses in my size and the hope that I’d be walking away with a dress. Third time lucky. I decided on a Hell Bunny dress (Aztec) with a white petticoat and the first smile about my outfit in days. While not the original nautical style dress I’d planned on, the colors still matched and I think everything worked really well (Red, Blue and White).

20140511-174121.jpg
Prior to the dress debacle, I’d planned accessories and shoes for the outfit. I ordered nautical inspired accessories from Miss Happ, a beautiful cameo necklace, anchor earrings, a hair clip and shoe clips – the perfect addition to the ensemble. I bought a pair of cheap and cheerful pumps from PnP in white and paired them with my beautiful shoe clips, the shoes were a gorgeous finishing touch. I wasn’t done, a little white cardigan from Mr Price finished it off and my clothing was finally sorted. Thankfully, my Aztec dress matched all the awesome accessories, shoes and cardigan purchased long before I even had it. Was I throwing myself into this? I think so!

20140511-175353.jpg

20140511-175447.jpg
After all this effort on my clothes, shoes and accessories, there was no way I could let my hair, make up and nails slip. The nails were easy, a blue press on to match the outfit but hair and make up? I was in for quite the challenge.

Nails – Check. Make up? I spent a while researching, chatting to friends following video tutorials and googling. Everything led me to red lips, winged liner, pail foundation and understated blush. I ended up with a tutorial for ideas and a steady hand for the liner, best cat’s eyes I’ve ever done!

20140511-180650.jpg

20140511-180655.jpg
Last but not least, hair! Oh my word, Rockabilly dolls do it with style. I wish I had longer hair and a more lenient job to pull off the colored bangs and Dita waves but alas, my pixie style meant for a little bit of a personal twist. After hours of googling (again) I came across a video tutorial which led my husband being ordered to the shop to buy a curling iron (which I didn’t previously own) and hours of frustration and irritation. After two hours, the end result really did look good and was well worth the effort, how would I do this daily?

20140511-181342.jpg
After all of this, my outfit was complete. I was happy. I ordered my photographer husband to take some photos of me (proud moment) with my vintage scooter – yes, it’s mine – and off to the party we went.

What a journey to get here… The frustrations, complications, challenges and expenses involved were many, but the satisfaction with the end result far outweighed all of this. Many girls dream of growing up to be princesses, I wasn’t one of them. In fact, I grew up not knowing what I wanted to be. Now that I’ve grown up, I realize that one girls princess is another girls Rockabilly doll or pin up and perhaps I’ve stumbled on the girly girl I’m supposed to be instead of the ‘mature’ woman I’m expected to be. I spent my life refusing to fit in, moving against the masses. Now I find myself longing to fit in with a group of like minded people who don’t fit into the masses and are happy with that. I bought my first Rockabilly dress and I can guarantee you, it won’t be the last. I look forward to buying more trinkets and accessories, learning different ways to style my hair and play around with this gorgeous style. Suddenly, I find myself caring about how I look (not that I didn’t before, but more so now) and paying more attention to the style I portray. The most rewarding aspect? The positive attention I’ve received after posting a few of the photos, the compliments I received at the party and the amount of people that have told me the look suits me and I do pull it off, well. I know that I must be on the right track…

So, you may ask, do I actually know anything about the 50′s? I do, in fact, Marilyn Monroe is a favorite of mine but in all honesty, I don’t know enough and so I will continue to learn through my journey. I’m a traveller and the road is paved with Elvis and lipstick and beauties of decades past. I know where I want to be, I know who I am, I know where I’m going and I like it.

Shevy

P.S. The final product… Dress, Make up, Hair, Nails, Shoes, Scooter and all.

20140511-190528.jpg

It’s not often they I choose to feed negativity here on http://www.theshevster.com but I must say, I’m particularly frikkin annoyed and must rant to keep my stress levels as low as possible.

My dad’s 50th birthday is coming up and the theme of the party… ‘glam’. Being a 50th I chose to dress in a 50′s rockabilly type fashion which I’m particularly excited about.

From Miss Happ, all my gorgeous glam accessories to match my dress – pics attached.

From Pinn’d Up Clothing, a beautiful Rockabilly dress – pics attached.

We’ve since co ordinated the family (daughters and husband) to dress glamorously using the red, white and blue theme carried throughout and their outfits (and accessories) are in the wardrobe, all ready to go for Saturday.

All planned and good to go right? Wrong! Because, by no fault of the supplier, my dress has gone missing. It was made, it was couriered to supplier for quality control, some bastards at customs took a rifle through my package and now my dress is gone. GONE! It didn’t even get to supplier for final courier to me even though the rest of the items arrived safely (including my underskirt, thankfully but no use without the dress). With 5 days to go before the party, I have shoes and I have accessories but alas, I’ll be going naked. While everything is being done to attempt a rush order on a new dress or provide me with another one (pointless really as it won’t match now), chances are slim that I’ll receive the dress I ordered in my size in time for the party :(

I am so angry at the audacity of people in this country! How DARE you/they/he/she open up MY package and take the dress made specifically for ME paid for by MY hard earned money leaving ME without the dress. Quite frankly it’s disgusting that we can’t trust the postal service so we use a courier but heck, you can’t even trust customs to get anything into the country because guess what, someone sitting there clearly believes they deserve it more than you do. For free. I am angry (because this isn’t the first time) and now, I’m also anxious because I don’t know what I’m going to have by Friday (if anything) and what I do eventually receive may not fit or match. What the actual f@#k (French to be excused please) is wrong with the world and the people in it that all morals are thrown to the wind because you see a pretty dress and choose to keep it. Screw you. Screw customs. Screw the government. Screw the country.

Really positive leading up to election time isn’t it?

In case you didn’t realize before, I’m pissed off and now I’m miserable as well… Feeling no better for my rant. It’s such a pretty dress and now I don’t have it and I have such pretty accessories and nothing to wear them with. To add to my crappy few days I’ve lost my Twisp (e-cigarette), gotten a severe UTI, been on horrid antibiotics, broken the UV lamp for my nails and broken out in the worst psoriasis ever. If this is May 2014, I want a do over – truly hope it isn’t a telling of the days to come.

I know, I sound like a spoilt brat but if you spent hard earned money on something you had your heart set on receiving but didn’t actually receive, you’d be a spoilt brat too…

Here’s hoping I have a dress by Friday, or my family may be wrapping me in a tablecloth.

Rant over
Shevy

20140504-202045.jpg

20140504-202051.jpg