Dear Solange.

Dearest Solange,

I must thank you for the laughing fit that ensued after watching the brief video clip that was released of you attacking Jay Z. You’ve reiterated once again that celebrities are human as well and we all have our dodgy family dramas, even you. I must admit, I’m intrigued as to why you went at your brother in law like a street hooligan and can’t understand the desire to throw the the first punch in that rather small elevator. For future information, decent space is required to get good air to your kicks and therefore an elevator is not recommended.

I’m as human as the next person, for that reason I understand the motive of jealousy (If that was your MO at all). Yes, your sister is undoubtedly one of the most successful pop stars of all time (A career you’re trying to develop) and she’s married to one of the wealthiest music moguls of present times. I get that you may have been a little upset but can’t possibly understand why you chose that particular time and place to have a physical go… It probably was not a smart idea to beat your family member in full camera view for the public to see, causing much upset at the use of your expensive handbag (tragedy!)

The funniest articles are saying it was a ferocious attack, though I’m uncertain as to what was feral about it. You were pissed off (obviously) and the guy probably needed a smack. I’m sure he has to pay people not to hit him a lot of the time, but I don’t believe it’s good practice to be beating your sisters husband. No doubt future family lunches may be a little awkward after this debacle.

The hotel is shocked at your behavior, what’s even more shocking is the free publicity they’re receiving after the Knowles vs Carter lift showdown. They’re so perplexed they’re releasing statements, well done on giving them 100% occupancy from now until well, forever. Rather strategic of them, releasing that ever so private video footage and not laying claim to the ‘leak’.

Whatever the reason, well done for being human.
Keep us smiling

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