Think of your longest relationship: describe how your love has changed over time, did you go from the giddiness of infatuation, to mad passion, to deep respect, esteem, and friendship? Tell us about your love story.
I do miss him already, this best friend of mine, that’s amore right? Working shifts sometimes means that we can completely miss each other in the day and so I haven’t had a conversation with my husband since Monday (it’s Wednesday). The sacrifices we make
I met my husband the old fashioned way (ok, maybe not quite old fashioned) via Facebook. Mutual friends had decided that we were a definite match and took it upon themselves to introduce us over social media thinking we’d hit it off immediately. I added him on Facebook and, as you do, began stalking his Facebook profile, needless to say I was extremely irritated with my friends (and him for his questionable morals) when I saw that his relationship status was still set to ‘Married’. Why on earth would my friends think that I would have any interest in a married man?! Insult much? I did however note that he was pretty good looking (I imagine him chuckling as he reads this) and we had extremely similar tastes and likes in music, movies, books and pretty much everything else we talked about.
I then decided that I was in a time of my life that the more friends I had, the merrier and why not befriend someone new? How could it hurt? We then started off on the occasional status like and eventually I was commenting on all of his lyric quiz statuses, getting them all right (obviously). He had asked a question on Facebook regarding ‘ol Blue eyes’ and who he was and I replied that it was Sinatra of course, this is how we started chatting. We started facebook messaging / emailing each other and the first question I asked him was why did he add me as a friend if he was married? I was quite happy to hear that though he was still legally married, he had been separated for a little while and was out to meet new people (the stories of his previous relationship not for this blog purpose), he also told me that he was adding as many people as he could – enough to make any girl feel special (he has since done a considerable facebook cull). For 2 weeks we chatted on and off and got to know each other really well, it was an exciting time and we clicked almost immediately yet I withheld my expectations for fear of being hurt (after a still recent and damaging break up that I was getting over).
At the time I was portraying a rather hardcore exterior, not interested in love or a relationship and most definitely not marriage. I was adamant I didn’t want any more children, I’d become accustomed to being a single mother of a 4 year old and was happy to settle for that. Despite all of this, there was something about this man that intrigued me and even though I hadn’t met him yet, I knew that this was not the be all and end all of our friendship. I decided that I was ready to meet him and with my sister’s permission I invited him to her birthday party at ye olde Corner house, it was a public place so if he was a psychopath, I was assuming I’d be somewhat safe. I worked in Fourways at the time so we decided that he would pick me up and together we’d drive down the road to the pub, not awkward or unsafe at all.
He arrived at my offices in a red uno, with a matching red tie and brand new shoes, I will never forget it. Funnily enough, I happened to be wearing a red and black outfit myself so without realizing it, we matched Turns out our mutual friend had schooled him before hand about my infatuation for shoes and to ensure he impressed, he bought new ones. We drove awkwardly down to the pub and spent the night chatting about anything and everything, he met my entire (massive) family in one night and all my closest friends without flinching. At one point, we stood together and I overheard him say ‘I’m bailing’ and feeling a bit upset I didn’t want him to leave, so by force we had our first kiss in the hopes he wouldn’t leave. Turns out all he’d said was ‘I’m failing’ thinking he wasn’t winning with me… Clearly I showed him he wasn’t failing and got the first move out of the way. We were the last to leave that night, somewhere around 2am, he dropped me home like the perfect gentleman he is and all I wanted was to see him again. It was a Thursday night and we’d made plans to go away to a metal fest that weekend with our mutual friends, I was too excited!
Friday came, I went to my friends, we all went in the same car and what a downer that festival was. He was very cold, barely said two words to me and by the time we got home on Sunday he didn’t even say goodbye when they dropped me off… Talk about confused! On Monday I came into work to a very long email explaining how much he did like me and we could be friends but couldn’t date, it wasn’t right because his divorce hadn’t been finalized even though he was separated and he was extremely guilty. Thinking that was it, I didn’t imagine to hear from him again so imagine my surprise when the calls started and I saw him everyday for the next week, dinners and movies etc. By Saturday he had gotten over himself, he made it official and we were dating (September).
The following month was my birthday and an awesome roller coaster ride of a new relationship. Three weeks after my birthday and barely 2-3 months after we started dating, he hadn’t even moved in yet, I found out I was pregnant! Oops! Scariest but best time of my life, I met the in-laws, his divorce was finalized, he moved in, treated my oldest daughter as his own and finally we got our own place… Mere months away from our daughter. Anyone will tell you a baby will test a relationship and, D definitely did. We had to learn, in a very short time, what we both wanted in life, what our goals were and if this was the real deal. We had to be there for each other through great and horrible times and yet, here we are, out on top. In October, 3 months after our daughter was born, he surprised me with a proposal over breakfast and of course, I said yes! 8 months later, just after our daughters first birthday, we were married – One of the most amazing days of my life. This year we celebrate our second wedding anniversary and 4 years together… A turbulent but triumphant 4 years with many more to come.
When you know, you know. For all the uphill I give him, I love him immensely. We have had a roller coaster ride together and so many things happened so quickly for us, but that’s ok. We can weather any storm together and have two beautiful children and an amazing family to show for it. He is my best friend, my worst enemy, my confidante, the person who sees me cry and the man that wipes away my tears. He is supportive in everything that I do and makes sure that our family has the life we need. I want for nothing and everything my heart desires is given to me. He puts me on a pedestal and often forgets about himself, reminding me just how much he loves me, every girl should know that feeling. He makes me feel like I am the only girl in the world. He knows all my secrets, shares my dreams, walks beside me and is the true showing of what a husband should be. He never complained about changing nappies nor does he complain about cooking dinner. While I make it difficult for him with my fussiness, he never stops trying to be romantic. I am so grateful everyday to wake up with my best friend and my imperfectly perfect family…
Thank you Frank Sinatra (and Rory), look what you had a hand in…