It’s for a good cause!


Hello lovely fans of my page… I have a few pieces in the works for you, a follow up on my Endometriosis journey and the #RoadToHysterectomy as well as a new series on tattoos and my rituals. While my broken body works on churning these bits out for you, here is something to make you feel good for the month of May.

My beautiful friend not only beat Cancer, she ripped it’s head off with her bare hands! Now, she is going off to do her first Pretty Muddy 5K in the month of July and is doing her part for Cancer Research UK. She has started a Just Giving page for this reason and I ask you to please help this very worthwhile, important cause.

You can go to the link below and donate any amount you see fit! Even £1 would do the trick, it’s £1 more than she started with:) Everyone knows someone who has been or will be affected by this awful disease, but I’m fortunate enough to know someone who kicked it’s butt… Now help Cancer Research UK help someone else do the same.

Just Giving page – Kara 

Happy Giving!!!

Shevy xxx 

Oh the places I have been.


It has become a tradition to write some sort of motivational piece in the month of my birthday, an ode to the wisdom I had acquired up until that point in my life. I felt that this year I wanted to keep with tradition but decided to do things slightly differently, this year I am closing a chapter. I am saying goodbye to both the greatest and worst year of my life so far, my 30th year on earth.

I was recently reminded by a new friend, of an old friend who was the source of many wise words in my life time and I thought I would start by sharing some of these wise words.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

The last year of my life has been the most tumultuous, heart breaking, gut wrenching, thought provoking, soul testing and judgmental I have ever endured. In 1 year, starting in October 2014, I said goodbye to my family, friends and my animals; sold everything I owned; packed my life into a box; moved to a new country; became a house guest; started a new job; celebrated my 30th birthday; got a new flat on my own; spent holidays and birthdays alone; made new friends; said goodbye to some; saw the sights; remained stuck indoors; built a home; found a new familiar; cried; laughed; fought and pushed through. I spent 10 months without my husband and more importantly, without my children. We spent thousands of pounds and rands, battled, sacrificed and endured and in the end all with one goal in mind – Successfully move our family to a new continent, despite the challenges.

A year later and we have done it.

We have our small home, with our limited number of possessions. The girls have both started and are really enjoying their new schools. My husband started his new job in recent weeks and we look forward to receiving his first pay check. We have our little feline who completes our family. We have met so many amazing people that we consider friends for life, we have had unwavering support from our friends and our family back in South Africa, we have continuous support from our favourite people here as well.

However, it is easy to fall into a trap where I feel like things are just never reaching the final page of the book. That the anti-climaxes are never ending. That the author is ready to put down the pen. Challenge after challenge, let down after let down, struggle after struggle. It is all too convenient to forget how far we have come and focus on the negative. I realised that in order for these speed bumps to flatten, the end of the chapter has to be written by me. So I choose not to forget the last year, but to file it. Today I make the choice to put one year of battles and mistakes, sadness and loneliness behind me.

In one year I have learned the following:

NO matter what your marriage has endured, there is no greater hurdle than distance.

Yet distance between you and your blood will never overshadow love.

Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.

Yet re-connection is all about learning to be together again. As friends, as partners, as family.

Preparation is key to all things.

Yet no matter how prepared you are, you are never prepared enough for disappointment.

It takes an incredibly strong person to make life changing decisions.

Yet even the strongest person can break.

You are never too old to start again, to try something new.

Yet you can be too young to make those decisions – When you are ready you will know.

Loyalty is a phenomenal trait to possess.

However, always remember that doing what is right for you must trump any loyalties you think you have.

Have faith that things will work out in the end.

But faith could be down to faith in yourself – If you believe in you, everyone else will.

Life is too short – Live. Love. Laugh

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

And here we are, almost 1 year spent in the UK. Almost my 31st birthday. October 2015, one year on and I am ready to wave goodbye to the emotional roller-coaster that was 2014/2015. My Hakken-Krak. Rest assured, there are still many great changes to come. Not everything is perfect, nor will it ever be. We have made mistakes, we have learned forgiveness, we have learned how to love and how to hate, how to give and how to be, how to move forward with very little and come home with even less. We have accepted that things were the way they were because that is how they were fated to be, we are greater for it.

The lesson for my 31st birthday…

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)


Excerpts from Dr Seuss’s ‘Oh the places you’ll go’

*** The above quoted text was copyrighted in 1990 .

For anyone looking to purchase this book, if not for any other reason than it is a Dr Seuss book, here is a link to do so.

Happiness. It’s yours if you give it to yourself.

You are good enough.

You need to tell yourself that every single day for the rest of your life, because if you don’t no one else is going to.

Happiness. What is happiness? It’s subjective. I have no answer for you, what makes one person happy could make another miserable. What is important to one soul is of little or no importance to another. What troubles and hurts me may have no effect on you but your biggest issue is the last worry on my list….

Growing up we are brain washed. Be thin, you will be happy. Be beautiful, you will be happy. Hey, be rich, you’ll be happier!! Why not get the perfect career, the perfect friends, the perfect furniture and house, the perfect man, the perfect children. All of these things will make you happy won’t they? Won’t they??? I’m sorry to tell you but as good as everything I’ve mentioned sounds, they probably won’t make you happy… Not if you’re not happy with the one thing that matters the most, not if you’re not happy with you.

I’ve grown up trying to people please. I have tried to hide the real me and have tried to conform to the standards I’ve been expected to… The old me anyway. That old me was miserable, that old me was fake, that old me was not truly me. Finally, after years of hiding me, I’m now accepting me. I’m accepting me for the faults I have and the traits that make me the person I am today. I’m not rich. I’m not thin. I don’t have the perfect career. My friends aren’t perfect. My house, my furniture, my man and my children, they too are not perfect. I’m a perfectionist with OCD but I’m no longer striving for perfection, I’m striving for happiness and that starts with me.

How do you not look in the mirror and feel worthless? How do you move past placing the responsibility of your worth on someone else? How do you learn to accept that you are human instead of constantly feeling like you’re a failure?

“Let go of the knife you are holding at your throat, the knife of shame, blame, fear and remorse.”

>No one is perfect… If you’re comparing yourself to others you’ll never feel that you’re good enough for anyone. You won’t be good enough for yourself. The scary thing is that people you think are perfect, are probably thinking about ten other people that they think are perfect. It’s a spiral, a downhill one, comparison will only hinder your happiness.

>When last did you have a conversation with yourself? Ok, not a loopy conversation but a monologue with your mind’s eye. You are good enough. Yes I am. You look great today. Yes I do. Tomorrow will be better than today, chin up. Thanks for the reassurance, I needed that. No, voices in your head don’t make you crazy. It’s one of the most intelligent conversations you’ve had.

>Remind yourself. Who you are, what you have to be thankful for and the people in your life. Before bed, over a cup of tea or lying in the bath, just remind yourself that you’re surrounded by people who love you and think you’re amazing. If they do, why can’t you?

>I say it all the time and I’ll say it again… Allow yourself to feel. Be human. There is nothing wrong with hurting, being sad, being upset but you will be ok and tomorrow the sun rises despite what you’re feeling.

>Forgiveness… There could be many reasons you’re not happy. You feel unworthy. Your confidence or self esteem is kicked in the teeth. Some of those feelings could probably be attributed to various people in your life. Parents, teachers, siblings, friends or exes. Sometime, somewhere, someone made you feel like you’ll never amount to much and that deduction has never left you. It’s time to forgive, it’s time to let go and make your own decisions about your life.

>Make a choice. I choose to be worthy. I choose to be confident. I choose forgiveness and I choose happiness. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

The key to happiness and self worth is understanding that you’re the only key. No one person makes you feel worthless or like a failure, those feelings are your own. Think of a child learning to swim… They may feel like they’re going to drown the first few times in the pool. The pool may scare the hell out of them. After a few lessons though, the confidence builds and eventually they’re winning races in swimming gala’s. It’s time to love yourself, if you don’t, no one else can.

If you want to let the good stuff in,
stop beating yourself up.
No matter what.

Everyone is different but here is a list of things that could help you love you. There is no harm in trying…


Read on for steps to discover your worth and enfold yourself in affection and appreciation.

1. Begin your day with love (not technology). Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Breathe in love and breathe out love. Enfold yourself in light. Saturate your being in love.

2. Take time to meditate and journal. Spend time focusing inward daily. Begin with 5 minutes of meditation and 5 minutes of journaling each morning. Gradually increase this time.

3. Talk yourself happy. Use affirmations to train your mind to become more positive. Put a wrist band on your right wrist. When you’re participating in self-abuse of any form, move the band to your left wrist.

4. Get emotionally honest. Let of go of numbing your feelings. Shopping, eating, and drinking are examples of avoiding discomfort, sadness, and pain. Mindfully breathe your way through your feelings and emotions.

5. Expand your interests. Try something new. Learn a language. Go places you’ve never been. Do things you haven’t done before. You have a right to an awesome life.

6. Enjoy life enhancing activities. Find exercise you like. Discover healthy foods that are good for you. Turn off technology for a day and spend time doing things that make you feel alive.

7. Become willing to surrender. Breathe, relax, and let go. You can never see the whole picture. You don’t know what anything is for. Stop fighting against yourself by thinking and desiring people and events in your life should be different. Your plan may be different from your soul’s intentions.

8. Work on personal and spiritual development. Be willing to surrender and grow. Life is a journey. We are here to learn and love on a deeper level. Take penguin steps and life becomes difficult. One step at a time is enough to proceed forward.

9. Own your potential. Love yourself enough to believe in the limitless opportunities available to you. Take action and create a beautiful life for yourself.

10. Be patient with yourself. Let go of urgency and fear. Relax and transform striving into thriving. Trust in yourself, do good work, and the Universe will reward you.

11. Live in appreciation. Train your mind to be grateful. Appreciate your talents, beauty, and brilliance. Love your imperfectly perfect self.

12. Be guided by your intuition. All answers come from within. Look for signs and pay attention to your gut feelings. You’ll hear two inner voices when you need to make a decision. The quiet voice is your higher self; the loud voice is your ego. Always go with the quieter voice.

13. Do what honors and respects you. Don’t participate in activities that bring you down. Don’t allow toxic people in your life. Love everyone, but be discerning on who you allow into your life.

14. Accept uncertainty. Suffering comes from living in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Put your attention on the present moment and be at peace.

15. Forgive yourself. Learn from your mistakes and go forward. Use this affirmation, “I forgive myself for judging myself for __________ (fill in the blank i.e.: for getting sick, for acting out, for not doing your best.)

16. Discover the power of fun. Self-love requires time to relax, play, and create face-to-face interaction with others. Our fast-paced world creates a goal setting, competitive craziness that doesn’t leave room for play. Dr. Stuart Brow says, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it is depression.”

17. Be real. Speak up and speak out. Allow yourself to be seen, known, and heard. Get comfortable with intimacy (in-to-me-see).

18. Focus on the positive. Go to your heart and dwell on and praise yourself for what you get right in all areas.

19. Become aware of self neglect and rejection. Become conscious of your choices. Ask yourself several times throughout the day, “Does this choice honor me?”

20. Imagine what your life would look like if you believed in your worth. Dedicate your life to loving you. Make it your main event.

21. Seek professional help. Self-rejection and neglect is painful. You deserve to be happy. You have a right to be accepted and loved. If necessary, seek help from a support group, counselor, or coach. It’s the best investment you can make.


I hope that I learn to love myself as much as I am loved.
I hope to be as happy as people think I am.
I will one day be as strong as others expect.
I believe I am worthy of anything I desire.

That’s what you tell yourself everyday and then, only then, when you are happy will others love you as you love yourself. As you deserve.



Motivation in the body of a tar road

I wrote a post in October 2013 (The road often clearly travelled) about a stretch of road that I travel daily (still do) that was in a severe state of disrepair. Instead of blaming the government, the roads agency or my wasted taxes I chose to look at this road a bit like obstacles in life that you have no choice but to overcome. It’s definitely become the most difficult part of my journey home and the road was so damaged that without slowing my bike to a ridiculous and almost impossible 10kph, I would have snapped it in half hitting one of those potholes at a speed.

Well, life sometimes gives you signs when you least expect them and aren’t even sure about what the sign actually means. Perhaps this isn’t a sign, perhaps it’s coincidence but I’m choosing to see this as an extreme motivational push… A little bit of what I needed at the moment. Last night, on the way home, I discovered that this road has finally been re tarred and what was the most bumpy and difficult part of my road home has since become the smoothest piece of road I’ve driven on! Now considering I have a few obstacles in my life at the moment including my weight loss journey, challenges in my career and challenges in our family life which I was equating to my better known pothole ridden road, I’m looking at this smooth road surface as a sign that I won’t always ‘have’ to push through the potholes, I won’t always have difficulties and I won’t always have to fight. I’m fact, I believe the universe may be telling me that it’s time for me to have a little break because I’ve gone through enough. If only for a little while, my road home will be smooth and easy to navigate and instead of navigating others through it, for a time I can just enjoy the ride.

It’s not always smooth sailing and in time this road will fall back into the disrepair it’s used to, when the rain pelts down hard and thousands of vehicles beat it down daily. But I’m certain that for a little while I’ll be able to drive on a smooth surface and enjoy knowing I conquered the potholes:)


Here I go again. The battles lost, the ongoing war.

Blogging about weight loss is truly a horrible reminder of how much I’ve repeatedly set out to achieve and repeatedly failed. Truth be told, I am my own worst enemy and the only person keeping me from the woman I’m supposed to be is me. Time to be brutally honest with myself, publicly.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for curvy women with a bit of meat on the bones, I do not aspire to be a skinny woman. My battle is with myself to be truly healthy, to live a healthy lifestyle from eating correctly to exercising regularly and in turn being happy with how I look no matter what that may look like.

I wrote in November last year about this battle (My biggest battle, most difficult war.) and how I’d joined gym again ready to lose weight. While the start was slow, in January this year I threw myself into exercise and kept a food diary which went well for 2 weeks in which time I lost 2.5kgs. I then got sick (flu sick, then Gastro sick) and just haven’t had the motivation to go back to gym. The illnesses cleared up but alas, I sat on my laurels. I know that I’ve put the weight back on, am back to square one and everything I built up to has fallen to the ground, again.

My husband is an aspiring photographer and we had a great idea for an alternative photo shoot of me for his portfolio, it involved me in my wedding dress. This week, I went to fit my dress and lo and behold, it was a tight fit… In fact, it barely fit at all. This led to my break down on the bedroom floor truly feeling the years of weight that I’ve built up. After deciding on a theme for my birthday party this year, I contacted a clothing store to check on dress sizes and sadly the dresses aren’t made in my size, plus size. Another moment of shock and sheer disgust at how far I’ve let this get. So how far have I let this get? Well it’s time to be brutally honest. At my happiest weight, when my oldest daughter was roughly 4 years old and about the time I met my husband, I weighed in at approximately 86kgs. I am a tall girl so for my height, 86kgs is not skinny but it’s curvaceous and comfortable. The reality is that now, 4 years and one daughter later, I weigh more than my post baby weight. I currently weigh in at a hefty 108kgs, the most I’ve ever weighed. What do I want to lose? 28 kgs – I want to be a curvy 80kgs at a 1.78m height (still more than the recommended weight for my height). When did I set my goal for? December 2014, now only 9 months away. And my reward when I reach that weight / size / healthiness – a rib tattoo and perhaps a boudoir shoot.

What I’m going through is no different to many women I know and in my life, the struggles of weight loss and health never seem to cease. It seems we try, we fail, we try something else, we fail, we get depressed, we feel demotivated, we eat more and then we try again. I am at a very unhappy place right now with my weight and what my body looks like, the crutch of the two children I’ve had is becoming an old excuse and the fact that I work shifts with considerable time off means that I should be in the gym every single day, no excuses. I’m so tired of reading about diets, exercise, weight loss and healthy living and yet I aspire to be someone worth casting in a fitness video. There is no way around it, it’s time to face or accept once and for a all and I choose to face it.

Yesterday, a female blogger I follow posted a before and after picture of her phenomenal weight loss since December. I saw this and immediately had to ask what she’d done, she looks phenomenal and her before / after picture alone was enough to motivate me! Her answer? A combination of things but one thing that struck my fancy, following the Paleo lifestyle. It’s not new to me, it’s been explained before, yet she sparked my interest and I’ve spent the entire day doing research on this way of life. After some interesting reads, articles and arguments (See The Beginner’s Guide to the Paleo Diet), I discussed doing this with my husband and we have both decided that we are going to embark on this Paleo lifestyle from Monday next week. Why Monday? Well, it is a serious mindset adjustment and hubby and I have a date night scheduled for tomorrow night and a weekend away with the children at Thakadu this weekend so we decided to use this time to prepare, not to deny ourselves some enjoyable eating. Monday we will go big guns, back to gym full force at the same time… Monday I try again.

The hope is that going to gym as much as possible and sticking to a Paleo LIFESTYLE (not diet) will help me reach my goal weight, be healthier, love myself, have more energy, feel good when I look in the mirror and most of all, finally help me win this war I feel like I’ve been fighting forever.

Share your thoughts with me on how you’ve successfully managed to lose weight and stay motivated, have you gone Paleo? Share your thoughts, tips and tricks.

Related articles :
Paleo Mistakes
What is the Paleo diet?